Every woman has a man of her dreams, has fantasies she guiltily indulges in for so long until she realizes it’s time to grow up and face the bitter fact that nobody is too damn perfect in this world. So she stops dreaming. And she stops searching. She decides to settle for what they call reality because her fantasies just seem too good to be true.
I have my fantasies too. But mine are not what women typically look for in a man. Every time I tell my friends about the kind of things that sweep me off my feet, I know they listen with skepticism. They would say I’d never find all these qualities I dream about IN JUST ONE MAN, considering how conflicting these traits are. Even I think I’m crazy sometimes for actually holding on to this fantasy. It’s like the “dream guy” checklist you come up with when you’re seven and throw away when you’re twenty three. And to be honest, I almost threw it away after what I thought was enough dissuading…
Until this summer came.
And HE came.
I dare not say how we actually met, and how I actually got to know everything that I’m about to write. All I can say is that I spent my summer discovering how wonderful of a person he is, and how lucky I am to have the “man of my dreams” pass my life by, no matter for how brief a time.
But I have to warn you: This is not a love story. I’m not in love with him (and he is definitely not in love with me). But maybe I’m in love with his life and with all the things that he is. And I’m in love with the idea that my FANTASY materialized right before my eyes.
He was six feet two. He had a pretty good physique. He looked like someone nobody would mess with. Add to that all those facial and body hair and he would easily appear a bit too intimidating, scary even, at first glance. He looked more Mediterranean than western. And that’s probably the reason why I find him intriguingly handsome despite his daunting aura. They say I have a twisted taste when it comes to men. Except maybe for Channing Tatum, I rarely perceive all too clean boys as attractive. I like them rugged and bad-ass with just the right amount of neatness. And yes, he’s exactly that.
But his eyes…
His eyes were hazel and dreamy. and delicate. and fine. It’s disappointing how their twinkle is completely underplayed in photographs. You cannot possibly realize how his eyes soften his otherwise strong and sharp face unless you come near him and get enough chance to stare. I did. He was a bit shaven then. He smiled at me and I was disarmed. Boy was he young. And he was a beautiful man after all.
I noticed he had a tattoo on his shoulder. He was quick to say he actually had five. For most girls tattoos are deal breakers, or maybe something they wouldn’t prefer. But I feel the opposite. I want a tattoo myself and I swear i’m gonna get one someday. So I didn’t mind that he had five tattoos on his body. If anything, it kind of turned me on.
He doesn’t smoke, which explains why he had the perfect white teeth. I was amused by this fact because God knows how I disapprove of cigarettes. Nobody in my family are smokers – not my dad and uncles; not even my late grandfather – so I pretty much grew up aware of what good cigarettes can do to a person, which is nothing. I am all for looking bad-ass and carefree but smoking isn’t and will never be part of it. I really admire him for not being a smoker, and for being a responsible bad-ass for that matter.
He is an amazing musician. And that should be enough to blow me away. Musicians bring me weak to the knees. There’s something about these guys that make me freeze and melt at the same time, so much so I promised myself I’d marry one someday. I am unfailingly awed by their talent, by their ability to create something so wonderful out of sheer feelings and emotions alone. My father said musicians are one of the most peaceful people he knows. Underneath the fun and zest and madness of it all, you will find a trace of tranquility in their soul.
I saw all these in him. The moment he started strumming his guitar and singing a song that he has written himself, I wanted so badly to scream and shout but instead I stood still and watched myself be at a loss for words. He had a soothing deep voice with just a little bit of rasp when he sings, which subdues his sexiness and makes him sound rather…kind.
I was his only audience. And I was more than okay with that. I’ve seen a lot of musicians perform before but it’s different when you had one all to yourself. The moment becomes so raw and suddenly it’s just all about the music- he didn’t have to impress, I didn’t have to be pleased. But it happened anyway.
For him that could have been just another minute to kill, completely meaningless and unimportant. But it was my favorite moment of summer. It felt so amazingly surreal. But the more amazing part was… it actually was real.
Music is the next best thing after love. And getting a taste of the next best thing isn’t so bad. Now I could only imagine how it is waking up next to this man. Must be heaven or vanilla ice.
I can readily tell he was educated just by the way he talked (and well, by the information provided in his facebook LOL). He might not be a genius but he surely knows more stuff than he ought to know at his age.
He travels. He travels a lot. As such he has probably learned everything there is to know about life, and mankind, and cultures, and rock and roll. He’s done this. and that. and some more stuff I didn’t even imagine of. I was in utter awe and envy. I’ve always wanted to travel the world. It was a fantasy for myself. But until now I couldn’t figure out how I am going to realize it. I have an adventurous spirit but I never had the chance to set it free. So many times I felt like life is dragging me, like I have nowhere to go and that I’d be forever stuck in one place. And then he came. He was the adventure I’ve been longing for personified. And I cannot help but think, maybe he was sent to make me understand that I just have to be more patient, and I’d eventually get to do the things that I’ve always loved. Adventures are just within my reach, and if I’m lucky, I’ll get it just when I least expect it (which is the very essence of adventure, right?).
I’ve read his blog. It was all about his journey, his music and the people that touched his life. I was immediately engrossed. For starters, he writes technically well. But more than that, he tells witty, insightful stories and he’s got some depth. His blog tells a lot about himself too. After going through each and every post (which are quite few if you ask me), you’d realize how much of a good person he is, and how much fun and love there is to experience in this world. His understated brilliance resonates when he writes. And I wouldn’t have known that if not for this summer.
He also happens to be a teacher, but not the ordinary kind. He seems to derive joy in making the world a better place, not for us who are already privileged but for those who are on the verge of losing hope. Yet as he tried to uplift their spirits, he realized how stronger than the rest of us these people are. He taught them a language. They taught him life. He was equally inspired by these fragile people who look up to him and what else can ever make you feel better than that?
He knows what he’s capable of and he does what he knows he does best, yet there is not a hint of narcissism in any of his work. He’s just a simple man who likes ice cream and surfing and who doesn’t mind getting some uneven tan. haha.
Somebody should tell him how much he is blessed with talent and charm. For a man who seemed to have found his noble purpose, it’s a wonder why he even feels occasionally lost. but then again, that’s what makes him so human.
And there I was admiring him from another dimension, still marveled by the fact that this man is living the life I could only dream of. To travel the world, to teach and inspire – these have been my wildest frustrations thus far. These are things written down on my bucket list but for some reason I was never quite convinced I’d ever get to do.
He inspires me so. He’s the kind of guy that every girl will surely look up to and will willingly yield to. There’s just so much in him that will make even the most empowered woman say, “okay, you can lead babe.”
I can’t believe he even exists – he who cannot possibly have all those qualities at the same time. He’s just too much of my fantasy. He was the contradiction that my friends thought I would never ever find. But I found him just in time. Or did he find me?
To spend less than a day with this person was more than I could ask for. I’d tell myself over and over again, my dream guy has been just fingertips away from me. Maybe closer.
And then just like that he was gone. And I’m pretty sure I will never see him again. My summer ended and so did our tie. For a moment I couldn’t detach myself but it didn’t take long before I rationalized it all. He wasn’t really meant to stay. I only wished for an interesting summer and the heavens gave exactly what I asked for. I’m not even in love with the guy. Maybe we were not meant to spend more time together, and get to know each other better, because God knows how I easily fall.
I think our paths crossed just to make me realize that FANTASIES DO EXIST. And that I shouldn’t turn away from my dreams no matter how far-fetched they seem because they might just be real after all. I cannot express enough how much this changed my outlook in life. And I couldn’t be happier that I’m moving on with a better sense of believing and with more hope for love.
Meanwhile, I wish him nothing but happiness in life. I wish that he finds himself a beautiful wife, and you know that by beautiful I mean someone with a marvelous heart. She should be very lucky to have him by her side. She will wake up to his voice and guitar and will spend the rest of the day trying to convince herself that she is indeed married to this wonderful man. And the kids that they will have – they will be spending their nights with bedtime stories read not from fancy children’s books, but straight from the memories of a well-traveled musician.
As for me, well, he cannot be just one in this world. And now that I know that his kind exists, I promise I will find someone like him someday… and I’ll see to it that we will fall in love by then.
Of course, I am willing to trade my checklist for a guy who, although is far from being my dream, will love me more than anything in this world; will spend his every day trying to make me feel that I am the reason for his being; and who, just to make me happy, will move mountains and bring me the moon and the sun. But until I find (or I’m found by) this yet another impossible guy, I think I’ll hang on for a little while to The Guitar Man.
p.s.: hey, in the very slim chance that you might read this, please know that i tried my best to sound as less creepy as possible. haha. It was nice meeting you (again) btw.